First steps is always difficult

Have you come across a situation where you feel that your need to participate is outweighed by the fear of failure. 

I believe all of us come across such situations where we realize the rewards to be reaped if we take a step forward face the challenge head one whether it is a Client presentation at office or a difficult task/decision at him. At the same time we feel almost paralyzed by the pressure to perform and succeed and very often let the opportunity slip away as we feel that we are not up to it.

My life experiences and the years spent in the IT industry has taught me one thing “You are always up to it”. It is only a matter of overcoming the fear/ nervousness /anxiousness surrounding a challenge at hand. Of-course this is easier said than done and any of us can recall the anxiety while we are sitting in audience gathering the courage to raise the hand.

“Take the first step, and your mind will mobilize all its forces to your aid. But the first essential is that you begin. Once the battle is startled, all that is within and without you will come to your assistance.”

- Robert Collier (American author of self-help, and New Thought metaphysical books in the 20th century)

What is that feeling??

Recently I was shooting a video to promote an organizational event and had a recurring experience. While I sat waiting for my turn to face the camera and was trying to phrase my sentences in my mind I felt my mouth go dry and my heart pounding. 

What really worried me was not this feeling but rather a self-assumed fact that since I have done this several times I should not be anxious any longer. As I sat with my mind racing to recollect all similar occasions where I have faced the camera or addressed a large group to convince myself it is going to be alright, I had an epiphany.

Maybe this feeling of anxiousness is actually a blessing in disguise.

If you take a moment and think about it one would realize that being anxious before a critical meeting or when presenting to a large audience is something we all would have experienced. What we seldom fail to realize that being anxious is not a sign of weakness but actually an indicator of the fact that you really value the task at hand and hence are concerned about giving a solid performance.

I actually fear the day when I would not be anxious going into a meeting, while giving a presentation, addressing a large group because it would be an indicator of the fact that “I do not value the task at hand as much as I should”. While seasoned speakers would tell you that stage or camera fright gets better with experience they also mention that some form of anxiousness before attempting a critical task is nothing but natural.

Remember that being anxious is nothing more but your mind reminding you that you have to give your best. Take a deep breath, go in with a positive attitude and get the job done !!

If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death.

Paul Lynde ~ An American comedian and actor.

Lower the Defense Shield

Are you aware that there is a Defense shield around us that is enabled at all times and protects us constantly from Constructive criticism, Peer feedback and any kind of Good advice for our future endeavors?

As you might have figured out by now I am talking about our “Defensive behavior pattern” when it comes to taking feedback from our peers, leads, managers and senior management so that our actions and endeavor are in line with the firm’s vision and policies. It is always an uphill battle to control one’s “Defense Shield” as it pretty much behaves as an evil twin trying to hit any piece of advice or feedback that comes my way out of the park.

Consider a situation, One your peers comes up to you and starts to talk about how you could have handled a Client call in a better manner or how your deliverable had a major bug. More often than not within a few minutes of the initiation of this dialogue we close down our audio channels and mind to receive any part of such feedback and raise our shields fueled by ego, pride, superiority complex and other forms of fuel that stops us from accepting that more often than not each of us could be less than perfect and the feedback coming our way is just what we need to get back in line.

Over the years I have realized that one has to “Lower the defense Shield” as this works contrary to our belief and ends up just pushing us two steps backwards in the task at hand. By not accepting any form of feedback we limit ourselves to our very own cocoon and end up being left behind in the race to professional and personal growth. This does not just apply to workplace environment but applies to our home as well. Any of us can think of countless instances where we have refused a good piece of advice/ feedback coming from our parents, spouse or even our kids.

What does this behavior result in ??

An initial feeling of winning a self-waged war followed by a defeat in our endeavors and finally one’s mind would be clouded by feelings of sadness, anger and self-contempt on the inability to listen and understand what was the correct path all along.

This idea was wonderfully put in words by one of Senior leaders in my workplace.

“Do not let your short term ego come in the way of your long term career”.